Today I felt BORED. Of course there were things, but it’s the same circuit. Running miles of the same loop. Wake up, email students the Zoom link for class, make breakfast, plan for classes, eat lunch, walk, eat dinner, watch HOMELAND (I did the one FREE month of Showtime). It’s become hard to know what day it is. When I first woke up, I KNEW it was Friday, but then for a moment thought, wait, no, is it Wednesday?
I have been thinking about space and the desire to fill that space with something – anything. Long ago I recognized the benefit of having some structure in my day, but this feels different; a knee jerk reaction, a need to have a list, to be productive, to feel like I HAVE A PLAN. Wanting to fill the uncertainty with something certain.
That’s not ALL bad.
But it took less than 5 minutes. When I turned off the podcast, let go of my emails and hit PAUSE on everything else. To begin to feel instead an inner quiet, a feeling of freedom and expansiveness that may be what I was longing for all along. Inspiration. An artist or writer might call this creativity.
The word the yogis might use is prerana – a will that springs from the intelligence of the heart. A well that never runs dry. This will, they say is replenished every day through contact with the cosmic source of intelligent action. BKS Iyengar writes it is “the intelligent will of Nature’s consciousness expressing itself through us. And it expresses itself through the heart, not the head. It is by tapping the source of infinite will and intelligence that we discover in ourselves the guts to penetrate the inner recesses of our Being.” (Light on Life, pg. 169) How wonderful is that?
Let yourself be bored, and see what happens. I’d love to hear…………..